How to get into Chuck E. Cheese when you are middle aged

For those of you not familiar with Groupon, it is an internet-based discount coupon service, targeted for individual cities throughout the country. An offer is sent out, and if enough people sign up for it, the discount is awarded. Groupon is known for its humorous descriptions of the service or commodity being offered.

Today's Boston offer has the most clever description I have seen. Will 20 people snow-struck people who have spent weeks trapped in their homes looking in the mirror sign up? Health care experts advise me that this most assuredly is not covered under the Blue Cross Blue Shield global payment plan! Here goes:

Med-Spa Treatment from Boston Plastic Surgery Associates in Concord. Three Options Available.

Maintaining a youthful visage helps get you into hip nightclubs, such as Chuck E. Cheese's, where sentient mice dance wildly in rooms entirely filled with balls. Live it up at the club with today's Groupon to Boston Plastic Surgery Associates in Concord. Choose from the following options:

• $175 for 50 units of Dysport (a $300 value)
• $129 for three laser hair-removal treatments (up to an $800 value)
• $129 for a photofacial skin-rejuvenation intense-pulsed-light treatment (a $450 value)

Dr. Brooke Seckel of Boston Plastic Surgery Associates is a medical Ponce de Leon, immersed in a perpetual quest for age-defying noninvasive and nonsurgical therapies to keep his patients budding and boisterous. The photofacial rejuvenation treatment gives hardened mugs a science-fiction makeover via beams of intense pulsed light, thought to gently remove pigment, brown spots, blood vessels, and shrink enlarged pores. Worry lines are whisked away with Dysport injections, which are similar to Botox injections, smoothing out the area between the brows for clean lightning-bolt-scar application. Patients can also punish their naughty shampoo-stealing pelts with three laser hair-removal treatments on either the lips, chin, sideburns, front of neck, back of neck, underarms, feet, hands, or ears (a $500–$800 value per area for three treatments). All prospective baby faces need to call ahead for an appointment.